#⁺ . ✕ ◞ thread: deirdre mini ⋅

[reprisalet]

cont. from here.

an empress? that does make reyson's eyebrows raise very slightly. he inclines his head toward her ( she would outrank his title of ' prince ' but only if he cared about beorc titles and their hierarchy ) and offers her a slight smile. she still seems so apprehensive, but...

well, maybe it's with good reason. it sounds as though she's had a lot to think about, and not a lot of support. he does not ask why that is, instead he just nods. "you're not asking for too much. i offered, didn't i?" it's simple. at least for the moment.

"reyson. you can just call me reyson. i don't see the need for titles," he says, surprised at the way she just takes his arm, but catching up quickly enough that he begins leading her in the direction of the greenhouse. "i find it relaxing to be among the flowers. and at this time of day, there likely won't be anyone there for a while yet. you can tell me about what ails you on the way. your heart is... heavy, isn't it?"

@nagaficat

[theofficersacademy]

Happy October! This year, TOA won't see the return of its annual autumn mini-event, so members who wish to make their own Halloween fun this season are more than welcome to! However, we have a more important announcement to make...

Saying Farewell to Mod Bren

Bren is one of TOA's original founders, but after four years, they have decided to step down. Their art and lettering has become iconic for TOA's events over the years and will remain immortalized in the blog's archive. They will also remain within the community as a regular member.

Now Introducing... Mod N!

N, a longterm member of the community, has agreed to step up and fill Bren's spot. He has had a couple weeks of onboarding already, so we believe that he will do phenomenally in this position. Please give him a hearty congratulations, and look forward to what we have in store for you in January!

Housekeeping:

Current Month in TOA: Harpstring Moon

In place of Midsommar, we will be re-running TOA's advice box near the end of the month.

Thank you again to everyone who submitted and voted on our anniversary mission tasks! We've added new prompts for the skill points with the most votes. Check them out here!

REMINDER: Please delete your title posts when starting new threads. Keeping them on your blog makes it harder for the mods to check your activity at the end of the month. These title posts do not need to remain on your blog in order for the thread to be valid, and you can in fact delete them from the dash as soon as you save them to your drafts.

Game Liveblogging channel: Members are now allowed to create threads for their liveblogging experiences, and we encourage you to do so if you know that you will be liveblogging a game for a while.

Mentor signups are open! Please sign up if you’re interested in helping a newcomer get acclimated to the group. Of note: it is now a requirement to be 18+ in order to apply to be a mentor.

And don't forget to take a moment to fill out this month's feedback form! Please do not submit blank forms.

Other

October Mun Birthdays: Rua (2nd), Dewa (2nd), Alina (4th), Mirae (11th), Red (13th), Soji (14th), Emm (14th), Cody (16th), Queen (18th), Nicolai (25th), Audrey (30th)

October Muse Birthdays: M!Byleth (2nd), Lilina (4th), F!Corrin (4th), Alcryst (15th), Merric (16th), Deirdre (16th), Ashe (17th), Reyson (19th), Lloyd (20th), Selkie (20th), Elincia (23rd), Farina (25th), Ayra (27th), Thrasir (31st)

First-year mun anniversaries this month: Kusa (16th), Chuu (21st), Nik (24th)

Second-year mun anniversaries this month: Sage (18th)

Fourth-year mun anniversaries this month: Nat (2nd), Key (4th)

First-year muse anniversaries this month: Valter (7th), Ares (16th)

Second-year muse anniversaries this month: Ethlyn (10th)

Muses who have been in the group for a solid year will also be granted an Academy Brooch to put in their inventory. It doesn’t do anything. It just lets others know your character has been around the block. These characters are also granted a new opportunity to change houses if they wish to do so.

- The House Leaders

[disgracedvessel]

Housekeeping

The number of threads I have across all my muses impacts how many new ones I'm willing to pick up. Julius has several that haven't gotten replies in a while, so I'm going to be a bit strict with the 3-month clause and put deadlines on some old threads.

If you're no longer feeling our thread for any reason, PLEASE tell me. I don't want to drag something out that neither of us are having fun with.

Waiting on me:

none

In Limbo: need confirmation from thread partner that my post is the end of the thread. Contact me by 5/11/23 if you're planning to reply, otherwise I'm treating it as finished

Mini w/ @shadoll [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply 4/4/23

Waiting on partner:

Freezeburn w/ @hosannan [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply 3/30/23 Fate's Sense of Humor w/ @virtuoustyrfing [Mission board: Anniversary 2022] [Skill point: any] Last reply 2/11/23 DEADLINE 6/11/23 Mini w/ @lockpicnic [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply 2/11/23 DEADLINE 6/11/23 Blood Tea and Red String w/ @artificidel [Mission board: Wonderland] [Skill point: Reason/Faith] Last reply 3/14/23 Across the River Styx w/ @mjolnirsrequiem [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply 3/14/23 Can We Get a Family Therapist in Here w/ @nagaficat & @viridescent-lance [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply (Deirdre) 3/18/23 Sigurd Hate Group w/ @ventusanimae [Mission board: Racketeering] [Skill point: Faith] Last reply 4/4/23 Mini w/ @virtuoustyrfing [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply 4/13/23 Blood is Thicker than Water w/ @ignifilis [Mission board: none] [Skill point: none] Last reply 5/4/23

[viridescent-lance]

knights into dreams -- forsyth ball engagements

Hiya! This is my post for tracking Forsyth's ball engagements.

Forsyth has been assigned the Water element!

Forsyth's outfit is matching with Python--it looks suspiciously similar to their previous outfits, but with a lot more glitz and glamor, almost as if it is a class promotion.

Forsyth is not happy with this mess. He's gotten into fruitless arguments with his patron already. All his hard-thought planning for the Ball has been for naught, as the elementals have decided to hijack things. Also it is incredibly distressing to be shrunken and at the mercy of these individuals. This time, it seems to truly be his body, though altered; these escalations of foreign control over his ability to navigate the world are, to put it mildly, concerning!

It appears as if he has no choice but to play their game to make it back to safety. He hopes they will at least take into account some of the suggestions he's made for the party--he really did put a lot of time and effort into them. Forsyth will seem a little grumpier than he should for this sort of festivity, but will do his best to put on a cheerful face and have a good time.

Forsyth's inbox is open! I've had a fair few things going on in my life lately, but I'll get to asks as soon as I can, and I'll be sending asks with him as well. We can either turn the ask into a mini-thread, or leave it as it is. Play it by ear! I am prioritizing Leanne a little, but that doesn't mean we can't have a grand old time with Forsyth.

Flower Progress

Air: Griss

Earth: Python

Fire: Lukas

Lightning: Linus

Water: Deirdre

--

Art by Maddie!

[arcaediaen]

a quick housekeeping post before i get bodyslammed by my senior year !! threads marked with a “ ✧ ” are waiting on me; otherwise, they’re not in my court.

CAEDA. ( @arcaediaen )

heartsong. &marth ✧ redamancy. &marth ✧ of beasts unknown. &nótt dragons & dungeons. &celica ✧ i like your sleeves they’re real big. &deirdre ✧ + inbox!

DAGR. ( @skinfcxi )

ghost orchids. &mercedes. ✧ blue hour. &kana ✧ weapon shuffle. &priam ✧ brawlroom dancing. &freyr ✧ born in flames. &leif ✧ maverick. &innes ✧ swimming fool. &ótr ✧ ethereal ball shopping. &saias  + inbox!

ISHTAR. ( @mjolnrr )

parcatour. &celica phantom love. &priam ✧ mini. &linoan ✧ minesweeper. &arthur ✧ getting electric. &scáthach ✧ in a rain of fate’s arrows. &deirdre ✧ phantasia. &elincia ✧ polaroid love. &saias ✧ authority +1. &linoan ✧ sword +1. &ophelia ethereal ball shopping. &petra + inbox!

if i’m threading with you and i’ve missed a thread, please shoot me a message so i can correct that! additionally, if you want to drop, let me know! thank you to all my thread partners for your patience. i’m going to try and use my hiatus to even out my toa schedule, and ask for your understanding as i round out a huge chapter in my life!

[nxncydrews]

midnight in salem: a review

Your girl finally beat Midnight in Salem last night and...I have thoughts. Feelings. Concerns. But also hope? This review is like a year late but whatever. Overall, I didn’t hate the game nearly as much as I thought I would, and I was fully prepared to loathe it. Spoilers are under the cut for anyone who hasn’t played it yet! (also...it’s long lol)

The general gist of it is this: Midnight in Salem is an okay game. There are some glaring issues that I’ll talk about in more detail, but there is a foundation that I feel is strong for the future. Even with the problems I saw I don’t think MID is the weakest in the series (MED and RAN still claim those spots). Let’s break it down.

Good: the mystery. Although I guessed Teegan’s role in the fire early on, I thought the overall storyline was compelling and that they did a good job of intertwining the characters and motivations in ways that wasn’t super obvious. The one problem I did have with the story is I felt like I couldn’t follow up with characters as much as I wanted to. For example, you can go upstairs in the museum and discover pretty early on that the Parry family changed their name from Parris but you can’t ask Teegan about it until she brings it up much later in the game—and even then it’s not something you prompt, it’s something she just gives up.  I also think I found out about things in dialogue before I was supposed to as though branches of the dialogue tree were incorrectly crossed. Despite that, I think the mystery was good...just needed a little more refining to pull it all together. There were also a few threads that didn’t get tied up (do we just assume that Jason mimicked Olivia’s smoke bombs because he watched her in the square?). 

Bad: the linearity. The thing that I loved (and hated) about past games was that you could hit moments where it wasn’t always clear where you were supposed to go next. With MID, however, you were led from location to location with little reason to return to other places when you finished the single task you needed to do. You would start at the Parry’s house, go to town square, make one trip out to Hathorne House, go back to the town square and repeat the next with a random trip to Lauren’s shop instead of Hathorne. And with the lack of locations to begin with...it just felt like it was a small game without much to do. That said, some of my favorite games have had a much smaller setting (TRT, for example) and did it well. So perhaps this issue could’ve been fixed with more complexity added to the puzzles and additional side quests.

Good: the voice acting and characters. Look, I loved Lani as Nancy Drew and she will always have a special place in my heart, but the new voice of Nancy has won me over. She’s got the exact type of energy I imagine and had a more modern voice. I do think she was one of the weakest voice actors in the game (random lines seemed to feel out of place emotionally, but that could just as much be on the editing team as the voice actor), but I still liked her overall. The rest of the voice cast was also great, which helped to carry a script that I felt was weak at moments—there were times when the dialogue was just...bad. The characters as a whole felt unique and fun, and I really loved the interactions between Deirdre and the Hardy Boys. I would argue that the strongest part of the game is the characters, even if I do think they could’ve gone further with some of the friendships and relationships that were hinted throughout the game (Judge Danforth and Jason, Mei and Jason, Teegan/Olivia/Lauren, etc). I also liked that the characters felt more alive...moving around, in multiple places, etc. The positioning of characters when they followed you was...unfortunate at times. Deirdre scared me every time I turned around and navigating the tunnels at the end of the game was nearly impossible with how characters constantly blocked your view. 

Bad: the graphics. This is obviously something that has been complained about since the beginning, and it’s for good reason: the graphics were lackluster. I have a pretty good laptop so I was able to play on high settings, but even then they weren’t nearly as good as I was expecting for how long they worked on the game. The character models are one of the most glaring issues: choppy and awkward animations, a lack of texture and shadows, and those really freaky eyes. The environments, though slightly better, still felt as though they were built from unity assets that the developers picked up off online stores and threw together. I couldn’t stand looking at the leaf piles on the ground or the street outside the Parry house because they were so incredibly flat. The final puzzle scenes felt better to me, as did Olivia’s shop and even the graveyard, so it’s clear that they can do better, but that level (or even higher level) of detail needs to be present in everything. The lighting is another huge issue—it was extremely flat in most parts of the game and took away a lot of the mood that could’ve been set. That said, I think graphics can be improved....if they put in the money and resources.

Good: the puzzles and interact-able objects. The puzzles that we did have in the game were fun and varying, which I think is important in mystery games. Some of the controls in the puzzles were really frustrating (more on the controls later), but there wasn’t a puzzle that I flat-out couldn’t solve. I also liked the way we could rotate objects and see all sides of them but again, the controls were a little frustrating. 

Bad: the number of puzzles. There just wasn’t enough puzzles for me, particularly puzzles that directly affected the storyline. For example, you can find a ripped-up note in the trash can in the Parry house but it’s never referenced again and you don’t actually need to do it to solve the mystery. Same with the piece of the flyer you find in the scarecrow. I think I saw a reddit thread or a post here that suggested things with book sorting or doing stuff with displays in the museum as additional puzzles and I 100% agree that they’d be great (and easy) additions to the storyline. Or maybe even helping Olivia with doing her store inventory (as we see on her list that she clearly doesn’t want to do it). 

Good: the mini-games. I loved the pumpkin quest and making johnny cakes (though I wish we could’ve actually made the various recipes and not have done the flipping part 6 times). I also loved making the herb mixtures! I honestly don’t have any complaints here. I think there was a good amount of them and they were fun to come back to.

Bad: the controls. While I appreciate what HER was trying to do with the controls, I really don’t think they worked. The “looking around” in a scene is cool in theory, but the actual act of dragging around an object was tedious and frustrating. The movement through the town square was really annoying, too—it took me forever to get from one side to the other. I think the yellow glow around the cursor when you found something to interact with could be a little more prominent, too. I think if HER wants to continue using this setup then they need to fix the cursor sensitivity to deal with how slow looking around a scene can be when dragging. I think we also could’ve done with a way to read the logs of conversations because I definitely missed a few things when I looked away for a second. 

Good: Deirdre. Shannon. I love her. So much. She’s absolutely fantastic. Her snark was great and I really appreciated how they gave her autonomy and actively contribute to the case. I would’ve loved for her to be playable (like maybe we follow her to do research on the town or search for the will), but I can’t complain about the amount we saw her. Her scenes with the Hardy Boys were some of my favorite in game....and I really hope we continue to have her as a phone contact in future games (if not see her in person again!). 

Bad: no charm. Despite some high points with characters and the mystery, overall this game just lacked the charm of the past. I know some of this stems from moving to Unity and the subsequent changes to graphics and models, but I really feel like so much of the uniqueness to the games was stripped away as well. There are some easy changes that I think could fix this, starting with the UI and dialogue display and working to improve the lighting and character models. Nancy Drew needs a small amount of grittiness, I think, and a clean, modern look just doesn’t feel right. 

Good: throwbacks to old games. I appreciated that there were some throwbacks to old games mixed in as you went and that some of our old familiar easter eggs popped up (Koko Kringle candy, for one!). I like to think that the black cats in Olivia’s shop were throwbacks to Suki from SAW (though that one is unlikely) and there was also a mention of a Waverly Academy, though I think this was either a mistake or unintentional because the letter is for an art school and Waverly was a boarding school. I was hoping for a Kate Drew reference when on the phone with Carson, but alas. Here’s hoping they continue to bring past games into new ones. 

Bad: the lack of depth. I felt like overall the game only scratched the surface of what it could’ve in terms of bringing in more history and complexity. The lack of puzzles and overly-linear story made it a pretty quick solve and the characters, though interesting, could’ve done with more interaction with each other. More puzzles, more history, and more side quests could’ve helped with this immensely. (Oh, and get rid of the ridiculous side love triangle and manufactured drama with Ned and Nancy. That’s something worth it’s own post, however.)

tl;dr I wouldn’t go so far to say that MID was a roaring success or met the expectations I had for the game, but I do think there is hope for the future if we get more games. The mystery was solid and there are some good things that came from it, but they’ve got a lot of work to do to bring the next game back to the quality level that we saw in past eras. If anything, this did make me want to play through all the old games in order again, which I haven’t wanted to do in years. 

Time to go open photoshop and make all the Mei/Jason and Frank/Deirdre graphics and get back in the edit game!  

[littleblondesoprano]

So I was playing the Witcher mini-game today, the one with Deirdre, and she said a line I thought felt familiar...

OH YEAH.

Renfri said it in the show!

“How am I to know? When I cut my finger, I bleed. That’s human, right? When I overeat, my stomach aches. When I’m happy, I laugh. When I’m upset, I swear. And when I hate someone, for stealing my whole life from me, I kill him.” (it’s a bit of a riff but w/e)  

I know the games came first, but I like how the show used that line for Renfri’s character--but...then that makes you wonder. Was Renfri Eskel’s child of surprise, or are they foregoing that thread in season 2?

Or did they just want the line?

[perne]

wanted plots (mission board: prologue) + housekeeping

hello hello! perney boy here is unaffiliated, so he’s free to go for all the mission prompts! though i’m limiting this only to about 2-3 since i don’t want to add too much to his backlog. please ping me in the plotting channel or dm me here if you’re interested! i’m open to plot for any of the missions but here are some that i’m particularly interested in:

- any weapon +1. it’d be a fun thing to explore, i think. he’d definitely go for subduing the dragon, or even killing it if necessary.

- reason +1. perne would love to introduce these npcs to the virtue of free will! and would also love (and have fun) bothering them a lil.

that’s all for wanted plots! as for housekeeping, here’s a list of all the active threads i have so far

- how to succeed in thievery without really trying (w/ julia, leif, deirdre)

- salem mini

- ethlyn mini

i also have a starter i owe someone

all my threads are still waiting on me orz. apologies if i’ve kept you all waiting for too long; ball stuff and irl fatigue have me struggling to write a bit. but i’ll be graduating in a few days which hopefully means i can have much more time to myself and, subsequently, my writing!

that’s all! happy pride 😽

[reprisalet]

reyson tilts his head as he listens to her. her worldview is... simplistic. but also, it reminds him very much of his sister's. forgiveness had always come easily to leanne, too. good-hearted even in the face of...

"my sister is like that... like you. able to forgive, preferring it even."

well, the difference was that leanne had not lived through it, sung to sleep and kept safe from the worst of the fire, the bloodshed.

"but she didn't see the fire. i don't think you did either." had deirdre specifically mentioned fire? he isn't sure, but to him trauma and fire are cousin-words. intertwined. spared not only the trauma of the massacre, but the trauma of the feeling of the experience. to a heron, who can feel the emotions of others as if they were their own... to have felt the glee the humans felt at slaughtering his people.

"forgiveness is easier, i imagine, for people who did not see their loved ones burn. who knew of it only secondhand."

he takes her hand in his, though. he bears her no ill will. "and what if they do? what if you never regain the love of those friends? what will you do? these are, i think, the things no one thinks of, when they make decisions on who to forgive, and why, and what it means. it's simple to pretend it's an unselfish decision..."

She reaches up and touches the flower gently with a smile. It is how she might have comforted her twins when they were young. There had always been flowers blooming in Belhalla Castle after she found herself brought there, whether they were outside in the gardens or inside in pots and vases. She made sure the stone halls burst with life. A flower is a simple way to comfort but she finds it works so well.

"Forgiveness comes easy to me," Deirdre admits. It is strange to hear Reyson declare that there had been a time where he thought forgiveness for his own situation was impossible. Even now, even with doubt clouding her heart, Deirdre would still open herself up to forgiveness every time. For her husband, her son, even for the man who took her and erased her mind. "It is difficult to process that it might not be something everyone wants. Why allow hate and anger to calcify in your heart when you can simply let it go? What is the purpose in holding onto such ugly feelings? Life is far too short to be weighed down like that, I think."

She reaches for Reyson's hand and gives it a squeeze. There seems to be little reason for them to remain apart, each having opened up their souls to the other now. "I am glad your loved ones were able to understand and accept what happened. It does not sound like it was easy for any of you. I can only pray that my situation might end similarly." She closes her eyes. It is easy to picture the sharp features of her beloved's face softening into kindness. He has only ever looked at her with love.

"I am afraid. I am terrified. If my dear friends will not let their hearts open and give my lord a chance, will they not close them to me as well? I do not want to be put in the position to choose between my two lives. How could I possibly? All I want, all I have ever wanted, is to be able to love. To see my loved ones happy. Perhaps that is too naive."

[reprisalet]

october activity check !

activity check : passed!

skill points 7 –> 10

monthly skill point faith D+ –> C

skill points from threads granted reason E –> E+ and sword E -> E+

completed/dropped threads:

quelling flames: complete ! w/ arvis (granted reason + 1)

two rocks with one sword: character drop ! w/ kurthnaga (granted sword +1)

incomplete threads (for personal reference, ignore this if you aren't me):

les grands esprits se rencontrent: w/ libra ! (my turn)

unnamed mini: w/ ike ! (my turn)

unnamed mini: w/ deirdre ! (their turn)

natures bounty: w/ forsyth ! (their turn)

toxicodendron radicans: w/ sephiran ! (their turn)

hey miss l’arachel i don’t feel so good: w/ l'arachel ! (their turn)

galdr for a mount: w/ sakura ! (their turn)

for want of the message: w/ leanne ! (their turn)

when a daddy wyvern and a mommy wyvern love each other very much: w/ naesala ! (their turn)

a figure cloaked in ivory: w/ eldigan ! (their turn)

great news! i'm smarter than everyone AND i have an enemy for life!: w/ naesala ! (their turn)

Birds of a Feather: w/ tibarn ! (their turn)

reyson wake up we fucked up big time!: w/ edain ! (their turn)

I'd Call it Karma But Reyson Didn't Deserve This: w/ deirdre and arvis ! (deirdre's turn)

neatly fold your skeletons but still can't shut the closet door: w/ naesala ! (their turn)

Jeremiah 8:20 / / Urban Fantasy AU: w/ ike ! (their turn)

Objection! This man is not fit for a court of law: w/ ike ! (their turn)

[reprisalet]

november activity check !

activity check : passed!

skill points 10 –> 11

monthly skill point faith C –> C

completed/dropped threads:

none

incomplete threads (for personal reference, ignore this if you aren’t me, though if we have a thread and it's not on here or something is mistakenly marked as your turn when it's mine please lmk!!!):

unnamed mini: w/ ike ! (their turn)

unnamed mini: w/ deirdre ! (their turn)

natures bounty: w/ forsyth! (their turn)

toxicodendron radicans: w/ sephiran! (my turn)

hey miss l’arachel i don’t feel so good: w/ l'arachel! (their turn)

galdr for a mount: w/ sakura! (their turn)

for want of the message: w/ leanne ! (their turn)

when a daddy wyvern and a mommy wyvern love each other very much: w/ naesala! (my turn)

a figure cloaked in ivory: w/ eldigan ! (my turn)

great news! i’m smarter than everyone AND i have an enemy for life!: w/ naesala !(my turn)

Birds of a Feather: w/ tibarn ! (their turn)

reyson wake up we fucked up big time!: w/ edain ! (my turn)

I’d Call it Karma But Reyson Didn’t Deserve This: w/ deirdre and arvis ! (deirdre’s turn i think)

neatly fold your skeletons but still can’t shut the closet door: w/ naesala ! (my turn)

Objection! This man is not fit for a court of law: w/ ike ! (my turn)

i do not feel like sharing this actually!!!: w/ naesala ! (my turn)

though you repent and don sack cloth: w/ arvis ! (my turn)

[reprisalet]

he comes back over to her, having plucked a flower from one of the more abundant shrubs around the edges of the greenhouse and weaving it into her hair. his touch is light, and he leaves her room to pull away. he doesn't know how beorc comfort one another, but when he and his siblings were small, they'd weave flowers into one another's hair.

he nods at her words. "it can be difficult to simply stop loving someone. i... do not think it's fair if others are attempting to get you to do so, to let go of your feelings as if they matter less than their own..."

there is more to it than that, but he understands.

"they... trusted me to decide for myself. i actually had planned not to, you know. i thought i would never be able to forgive him for what he did, but in the end..." they had all forgiven naesala, welcomed him back among the bird tribes when they united their kingdoms. it was a collective forgiveness, but not one of them would have faulted the rest for not being able to.

"tibarn—ah, our king... suggested tearing his wings off, if i recall." he pretends not to remember the exact verbiage. "things changed as we learned more. but even if they had not... i would not have attempted to forgive him on behalf of the hawks. that would not have been mine to offer."

Deirdre laughs through her nose and turns her attention back to Reyson. "I never have been good at concealing my emotions. I am not sure if this is a good or bad quality."

She listens quite intently to what he has to say. What he says just makes sense. His words draw her complete attention to the point that she finds herself moving closer and closer to him with each confession of his own until she is standing directly next to him.

His situation is not the same but there are enough similarities that she feels as though, finally, she has someone who understands. Someone whose words make sense.

"I do love him." How wonderful it is that he is able to understand that! "Even after all he has done to Lord Sigurd, to my friends, to me, I cannot imagine ever casting him from my heart." But Reyson suggests she decides with her head and she frowns. She knows what her heart thinks. What her heart needs. Would her head say the same?

"You have told me quite a bit about your own situation and I would hate to pry for more if you are not comfortable sharing but, may I ask what your family, what the Hawks thought of your continued love for him?"

[reprisalet]

the fear on her face has him immediately drawing back. in the spiritual sense, but not the physical. he stays fairly close for the moment, but he resists prying any deeper into her heart for the moment. it can be... at times too easy, especially when it comes to strong emotions. and strong emotions are certainly what she feels right now.

"you're wearing your doubt plainly on your face, i'm sorry to say."

he watches as she waters the flowers. something to do with her hands. he understands that desire. "doubt is normal, you know. even if he had his reasons, even if he thinks they are good ones, you do not need to agree with that fact."

he goes to check the leaves on one of the larger shrubs in the corner. close enough to continue speaking, but far enough to allow her her space.

"you don't need to condemn your husband either. the man i love once... betrayed my family, the hawks i mean... and before that... ah, he... he once sold me like a pet to a wealthy man. one of those actions was out of both self-interest, in addition to the benefit of his people. the other was purely for his kingdom. it was difficult to grapple with, of course. i did forgive him, though. i think what matters is that you learn all you can, about your husband's motives, about his actions... and that you decide with your head, not your heart."

forgiveness can be noble. reyson has oft struggled with the concept. choosing it was hard. it seems the opposite is the case for her. "there is no wrong answer, you know. but there is likely no way to please everyone, either. you love him dearly, though, i can tell..."

There is something so comforting about the greenhouse. Even aside from her love of plants, she loves it. She loves the colors, the smell of flowers blooming and moist dirt. She even loves the way the humidity turns her curls to frizz and poof. Reyson had been smart to choose a location so dear to her, especially when he begins to pry into her darkest thoughts.

"How did you know that?" Her voice is a breathy whisper and her eyes grow wide in fear. "I have not spoken that fear to anyone. I had not even dared to write it down in my diary." To speak it, to write it down, to acknowledge it at all would give it life. Would feed the dark cloud of doubt waiting in the recesses of her heart. She knows that Arvis has lied to her before. He keeps truths from her that he knows would only bring her sadness. He protects her!

But he is a kind man. He would not have so many innocent people killed. He could not.

"He ordered the execution of a traitorous army when we were still newlyweds." She takes a watering can and begins to fill it. The soil surrounding the purple hyacinths is not completely dry yet but it is enough that she can use this as an excuse to avoid the gaze of her new friend. "My friends and my first husband were among their numbers but they were innocent of the crimes they had been accused of. Sometimes, if I allow myself to think too hard I start to wonder..."

[reprisalet]

"it's all right," he says softly, letting her speak before giving his piece. as they approach the greenhouse, he is relieved to see that it is deserted for the moment. there will likely be people in later in the day, but as springtime has come, more people are opting to spend time outside. this is good, it means they can speak with some privacy.

it must be difficult enough, speaking just to him, a stranger. he knows well the effect he has on others, the way a heron's presence can calm even someone not attuned to such magics. he hopes it works on her as well as he shuts the door to the greenhouse behind them.

"your husband has made mistakes, you say? if... that is correct, if he was merely misinformed and acted rashly, i can see why you don't wish to write him off only for that. but it sounds as though you worry that it's... not that simple. am i correct in my assumptions?"

"It is." Deirdre looks down at the ground as they walk down the path toward the greenhouse. Her heart seems to grow heavier each day and, each day, there are less people to help her carry it. It is difficult but she will do it for the love of both her husband and her son.

"My story is terribly sad. I do not want to upset you unless you truly do wish to hear it."

She grows silent for a moment, focusing on the way the gravel path crunches beneath her sandals. She has been opening up to far more people about this lately and, so far, it has not gone well. But Reyson... "You said that there is someone you care for that has done terrible things? My husband, the emperor, his rulings have hurt many people. People that I care deeply for. He has sentenced them to death, torn their families apart, but I still love him. They were traitors, we believed they had participated in the assassination of my father. We were wrong. My husband made a mistake but I still love him. He is a good man. But these friends would have me choose between them or him. How can I! I would rather tear my beating heart from my chest than to make such a choice."